After all, you are two individuals with your own ideas of domestic living. So whether it’s finances or chores, these nine tips will have you in couple bliss from the moment you sign the contract or lease.

 

1. Understand your motives and goals

When tossing up the idea, ask yourself, and each other: Why do you want to live together?

No matter how long you and your partner have been together, the decision to move in will likely be a cocktail of reasons and motives.

Some will be purely about your journey as a couple – like taking the next step, and sharing more of your life together. Others will be more logistical – like saving money, finding yourself at the end of a lease or wanting to begin investing in property.

It’s okay to have different factors guiding you. But it’s important your biggest motivation is an unwavering desire to live together.

So have a conversation. Make sure you’re both on the same page – and will remain so going forward.

 

2. Trial ‘living’ together

Before sharing a wardrobe, have a few dress rehearsals.

You’ve spent many days and nights together already. But this time, extend it to a week. Share the cooking; divvy up the cleaning. This might be at one of your places, or you could play make believe at a fancy Airbnb.

If it feels right, you’ll know. And if it doesn’t feel right, you’ll really know.

The latter may be hard – but listen to that feeling. Perhaps you’re simply not ready yet. If this is the case, hold off until you are. It’ll make it sweeter when you do move in together!

 

 

3. Learn how each other lives day-to-day

We’re creatures of habit. And if you’ve been living independently, your home base is where these habits are well and truly baked into the cake.

So bringing two different ideas and expectations of how a household runs can be challenging at first.

Will you eat together at night? When do you like your alone time, if any? Are you a shoes-on or shoes-off household? What time of day do you shower? How do you like to divvy up chores?

Whatever expectations either of you have, talk about them sooner – rather than later!

 

4. Make sure it feels like both your home from the beginning

Whether you’ve found a brand-new place or are moving into your partner’s home (or vice versa), make it feel like mutual turf from the get-go.

That means making decisions about your shared space: such as where furniture goes, what hangs on the wall, and which dish cleaner you prefer.

This is particularly important if the place was initially only one of yours. It’s now both of yours. And you should have an equal say in building your new home together.

 

5. Be ruthless yet respectful with belongings

You’ve signed the contract or lease, and move-in day is on the horizon. How will you combine two households’ worth of furniture and belongings into one? (Two washing machines might be excessive!)

Well, clutter isn’t the answer. And not every item you own can (or should!) make it through the front door. So sort through each of your inventories and label things: keep, store, sell, donate or toss.

As it costs money to store and takes time to sell, you may opt to donate or toss.

But be careful to respect your partner’s belongings. What looks like trash to you could be a source of sentimentality and happy memories for them.

 

6. Be clear about money

In your relationship, moving in might be the first time you’ve needed to seriously talk about money. It can be difficult, but you’ll thank yourselves later.

You’ll need to ask questions like:

• Will we split the bills and rent – or mortgage and loan repayments – evenly?
• Will we set up a joint account for household goods?
• What will we do if one of us can’t cover their costs?

The answer to these questions might depend on how much either of you earn, if you have other financial responsibilities, or if one of you is temporarily out of work.

In day-to-day life, you might be surprised how much you end up buying for each other: grocery runs, Uber Eats deliveries, emergency Panadol. So if you decide against a joint account, download the Splitwise app to easily record what you’ve spent, and what you’re owed.

 

7. Learn the best ways to communicate

You know what they say… communication is key. So even though you know your partner inside out, you may still need to brush up on how they like to give and receive information – and vice versa.

Some things to ask yourselves:

• Will you keep each other updated on your whereabouts, or will that push boundaries?
• Should issues be brought up in the moment, or when the dust settles?
• If one of you plans to have a guest over, will you let the other know? Or ask if it’s okay?

You might start to feel like you’ve lost the spark in your relationship if all you talk about is mundane logistics.

So dedicate a time in your week for household conversations – or create a separate messaging space. You can also set up a shared calendar so you won’t feel like you’re constantly asking, ‘Will you be home for dinner?’

 

8. Maintain your individuality

This is a big one! Before living together, your partner was likely already a huge part of your life. But now they’ll be more than ever. Mornings, nights, mealtimes, weekends – they’re there. And it’s going to be a lot of fun.

But for your long-term sense of individuality, and the long-term strength of your relationship, you’ll still need to carve out space for yourself and your own life.

That might be claiming a space in your home to engage in your hobbies. Like a corner with a desk or a beanbag or an easel.

It might also be continuing to go places without your partner, and seeing friends and family. These connections and experiences are vital to your sense of self. Plus, you’ll come home with plenty of fun stories to share!

 

 

9. Get ready to see and be seen

Bed hair in the morning, tantrums over burnt toast, messy wardrobes, smelly toilet trips.

The most beautiful things about living with your loved one are often… far from beautiful.

There’s no hiding under one roof. So, our advice here?

Don’t even try!

 

Are you and your partner buying your first shared home? Get to grips with everything first-home buyers need to know on The Peer Blog.